Ever wondered how different your relationships with people are? Some of them are familiar to families and other friends, but others are just nice people you talk to once in a while. This article describes ‘circles of intimacy,’ an idea that can help understand various types of relationships.
You will know who your deepest secrets should be shared with and with whom you need only keep things light and friendly by looking at where they fit into these circles of intimacy. Understanding relationship circles makes it easy for you to deal with other individuals, depending on where they come from or what they do.
With the help of this map, you can easily determine which person is your best friend or family member, who is a good friend, who is just barely acquainted with you, or yet someone that you don’t have time to communicate with but must – because of work or family.
What is the relationship circle?
Think of your relationship circle as a map of all the individuals you interact with, arranged by their proximity to you. Imagine that it looks like an archery target divided into rings; the closer they are to the center, the more intimate they are to you.
This map helps show which ones among all these people are your best friends or family members, whom do you treat as good friends, those that you know only slightly and keep in touch once in a while for work or family reasons.
Using a relationship circle is a smart way to manage your relationships. It shows you where to give more time and feelings and where to keep things more casual. It’s about knowing whether one may lean on another person, or they can be around only for some small talk or professional support.
What are the circles of intimacy?
These “circles of intimacy” indicate specific tiers within your relationship circle that reflect different degrees of closeness. Let us explore these circles one by one:
Innermost Circle: Intimate Bonds
This is more like a sanctuary where you have your most intimate relationships – people you can trust with everything about your life. Just imagine of those few special ones that you can discuss anything with, even if you are in a long distance relationship.
The things that we feel we should keep secret such as our deepest fears, wildest dreams, and private thoughts are unburdened in front of them because they mean something to us (also check our article 5 stepping stones in a relationship to learn more about such things).
These connections are based on a strong foundation of trust and respect, so you don’t need to pretend when you’re around them. These could be your relatives as well as your partner with whom you are in a long-term relationship, in addition to a close friend who has been there for you through thick and thin.
For instance, you may have some feelings which tell someone what you are going through or do not say it, but they know. It goes both ways.
Middle Circle: Good Friends
This is the circle of close friends who are dear to you, but not as intimate as family or very best friends at the core. These are people with whom you may hang out frequently, have good moments together and discuss personal issues, but not necessarily all your deepest secrets.
These guys are important in your life because they bring joy, friendship, and support. You might turn to them for advice on less personal matters or simply when you want to enjoy yourself.
You trust them enough to inform them of your problems, only that some of your feelings that are more private and deep worries will be saved for innermost circles.
In this circle of intimacy, friendships are built on shared interests, experiences, and the good times you have together. They may not be as deep as those within the inner circle, however they still mean a lot and play a key role in keeping people connected and active socially.
Outer Circle: Acquaintances
This relationship circle represents casual friends-people we know quite well but not super well. We see them around here and there for a little chat but don’t reveal our deepest secrets to them.
This can include people you occasionally talk to at work, neighbors who say hi every morning, or people met through social occasions.
With acquaintances, it is always light talk. Like here, we could say something about ‘How the weekend was?’ or ‘How’s the weather?’.
Although these talks do not have any direct relation to your private life and emotions, still they do matter – they make your social world bigger, making everyday communication more pleasant.
Acquaintances are treated with a shade of respect and politeness. All of you enjoy each other’s company during occasions such as office parties, community events or informal gatherings.
These people aren’t the ones who you could call in case of an emergency, but they help create a positive atmosphere at work and in your neighborhood, which make it more enjoyable to be in a social environment.
Peripheral Circle: Contacts
This relationship circle is for contacts—people you know but mostly interact with because you need to, not because you are close friends. This can be your clients at work or business associates, or even relatives who live far away that you meet once in a year during a family gathering.
Some of them may include individuals met from professional networks or through community activities. It is mainly about showing respect and being professional with one another. For instance ‘Hi! How are things?’, or we can talk about stuff they need us to do together for work.
These relationships might not be deep, but they still count for much. It helps you maintain a wide network which is ideal for your career through the option of community integration or just having enough acquaintances around.
Navigating Relationship Map
By understanding which relationship circle different individuals in your life belong to, you can identify where to channel your emotions and energy.
Knowing these circles of intimacy helps you maintain strong bonds with those closest to you, be part of fun, supportive friendships, engage in random chit-chat with acquaintances while still keeping professional and polite relationships.
It’s simply about being familiar with and having regard for the different levels of closeness between oneself and others.
